have you ever felt despair? absolute hopelessness? have you ever stood in the darkness and known deep in your heart, in your spirit that it was never, ever going to get better? That something had been lost forever, and that it wasn't coming back?

time for a survey/ cross out things you've done

Graduated High School.
Kissed someone.
Smoked cigarettes.
Got so drunk you passed out.
Rode every ride at an amusement park.
Collected something really stupid.

Gone to a rock concert.
Helped someone.
Gone fishing.
Watched four movies in one night.

Gone long periods of time with out sleep.
Lied to someone.

Snorted cocaine.
Failed a class.
Smoked weed.
Dealt drugs.
Taken a college level course.
Been in a car accident.
Been in a tornado.
Done hard drugs (i.e. ecstasy, heroin, crack, meth, acid).
Watched someone die.
Been to a funeral.
Burned yourself.

Ran a marathon.
Your parents got divorced.
Cried yourself to sleep.
Spent over $200 in one day.
Flown on a plane.

Cheated on someone.
Been cheated on.
Written a 10 page letter.
Gone skiing.
Been sailing.
Cut yourself.
Had a best friend.
Lost someone you loved.
Shoplifted something.

Been to jail.
Had detention.
Skipped school.
Got in trouble for something you didn’t do.
Stolen books from the library.
Gone to a different country.
Dropped out of school.
Been in a mental hospital.
Watched the “Harry Potter” movies.
Had an online diary.
Fired a gun.
Gambled in a casino.
Had a yard sale.
And a lemonade stand.
Actually made money at the lemonade stand.
Been in a school play.
Been fired from a job.
Taken a lie detector test.
Swam with dolphins.
Gone to sea world.
Voted for American/Australian Idol
Written poetry.
Read more than 20 books a year.
Gone to Europe.
Loved someone you couldn’t have.
Wondered about your sexuality.
Used a coloring book over age 12.
Had surgery.

Had stitches.
Taken a taxi.

Seen the Washington Monument.
Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once.
Overdosed.
Had a drug or alcohol problem.
Been in a fist fight.
Suffered any form of abuse.
Had a hamster/mouse.
Petted a wild animal.
Used a credit card.
Gone surfing in California.
Did “spirit day” at school.
Got a tattoo.
Had something pierced.
Got straight A’s.
Been on the Honor Roll.
Known someone with HIV or AIDS.
Taken pictures with a webcam.
Started a fire.

Had a party while your parents weren’t home.
Gotten caught having a party while they were gone.

52 minutes ago
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Trust me, I know how it feels. I know exactly how it feels to cry in the shower so no one can hear you, waiting for everyone to be asleep so you can fall apart, for everything to hurt so bad you just want it all to end. I know exactly how it feels.
But the lows are so extreme that the good seems fucking cheap and it teases you for weeks in its absence.
The last time I lay beneath him, he turned my arm towards the light, so that the scars glowed. He asked me, “How do you stand to show those to the world? How do you reach out to strangers and shake hands?
you remind me of you
3 hours ago
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But when it came right down to it, the skin of my wrist looked so white and defenseless that I couldn’t do it. It was as if what I wanted to kill wasn’t in that skin or the thin blue pulse that jumped under my thumb, but somewhere else, deeper, more secret, and a whole lot harder to get.
Sylvia Plath, the Bell Jar (via recovery4me) (via prozacular)
2 hours ago
243 notes